Many of my adult clients with ADD and ADHD often share the same concern…why do I feel like I am not living up to my potential? It certainly is a fair question, but one that doesn’t have a simple answer. From having a job that one feels is not up to his or her ability level to being passed over for promotions or positions that one feels should be his or hers presents some real frustrating moments. Here is how I can best explain the whole situation…
Having ADD and ADHD presents many challenges that do not quite fit into the normal world. In other words, things us folks with ADD and ADHD are expected to do just don’t get done as simply as others. For example, when we’re given a task involving a mundane thing like filling out forms, it can be torture. Our brains have to work especially hard to just focus on the task. So in reality, we are working harder than our non-ADD and ADHD peers on certain things that seem easy on the surface. Keeping up is essentially like running a race from behind and trying to keep up with the group. To an employer, it appears as if we are not as productive or efficient as others in our work environment. Appearance often defeats reality…
While the above statement may seem obvious to some, it really isn’t that simple. Just because we may have a greater understanding of our ADD and ADHD doesn’t mean the rest of the world will play along. A boss may get upset with a certain form not being filled in properly despite the amount of time it takes us to do it. In reality, we’ve worked harder on that form than our work peers, but not as productively. It causes us to begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities. But, keep in mind that your boss isn’t this horrible person, it just means that we aren’t living up to his or her expectations. Often times, the easiest thing we can do is blame our boss or employer. I will hear, my boss is horrible or my boss just doesn’t understand my needs. But in reality, your boss is dealing with pressures of his or her own that have nothing to do with you. In one of my other entries, I discussed Narcissism of ADD and ADHD. It is important to keep in mind that these situations aren’t always about you and your feelings, but a bigger picture that is out of our control.
The best advice I can give anyone dealing with this type of situation is to start working with an ADHD coach. You can find a list of coaches on different Websites including the ADHD Coaches Organization, CHADD or ADDA. Having someone help you better understand, manage and plan for your ADD and ADHD will make a huge difference. Relying on yourself isn’t a recipe for success.
For more information on my ADD, ADHD and Executive Functioning coaching, please visit www.adhdefcoach.com. In addition to working with clients in-person, I also work with clients all over the United States and World online, please visit www.onlineadhdcoach.com for more information. To learn more about my other services, please visit www.carrolleducationalgroup.com & www.iepexperts.com. I can be found on Twitter at ADHDGuru. You can also find me on Facebook, Google Plus and Tumblr. Feel free to email me at [email protected] or call 877.398.ADHD (2343) with any additional questions.