Many if the individuals I work with will lie. While some of the lies aren’t hurtful, they’re lies. It usually involves responsibility or getting out of a situation, but the facts don’t line up with the story.
Why is this you might ask? Let’s start at the beginning. Having ADD and ADHD is a challenge. We’re dealing with a lot of personal, professional and academic struggles. It impacts our lives and there’s times when we feel that there are few options, so lying seems to be our best option. It provides instant gratification to a situation that can become worse. What we fail to realize that it will lead to much bigger and worse consequences later. Think of it as us ADD and ADHD folks using lies like credit cards and not realizing that there’s a bill at the end of the month.
Of course, when this bill arrives, we want to call one of those bankruptcy people for help. But some tough love and accountability are the best ways to ensure a successful life-lesson. I usually like to work with my clients on taking ownership of the lies, identifying why he or she lied and identifying solution moving forward. I do not like to focus on the past except to learn from mistakes. Most of my clients aren’t very happy about this, but it is the reality of life. It’s better to learn from a mistake than to continue making it over and over all the time.
I advise the families of my clients to keep a journal of lies. Instead of trying to deal with it in the moment, track this over time an see what the results might be after the fact. The client will see that the long-term consequence of a lie adds up to bigger problems down the road. Touching the hot stove works.
For more information on my ADD, ADHD and Executive Functioning coaching, please visit www.adhdefcoach.com. In addition to working with clients in-person, I also work with clients all over the United States and World online, please visit www.onlineadhdcoach.com for more information. To learn more about my other services, please visit www.carrolleducationalgroup.com & www.iepexperts.com. I can be found on Twitter at ADHDGuru. You can also find me on Facebook, Google Plus and Tumblr. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 877.398.ADHD (2343) with any additional questions.